Gaylene - Podcast Interview 2022
[00:00:13] Alena: Hello. Welcome back to the Unboxable podcast. I have with me today the gorgeous Gaylene Gomez she is an amazing woman, and I'm gonna let her, hi Gaylene. Hello. I'm gonna let her introduce herself. Tell us where are you, where in the world, and also what you do.
[00:00:34] Gaylene: So my name is Gaylene. I'm a holistic health coach.
[00:00:38] Specifically I'm a certified holistic nutrition consultant with a background also in massage therapy and a variety of holistic healing modalities. So I've been in the health and wellness space for over 25 years now, and I live in Canada. And I live in Alberta, Canada, and I live in a little cottage on a lake with my husband and my dog, and kind of just live a simple life now.
[00:01:01] And so my business is helping other women to really create that healthy, holistic lifestyle that they want as well, that they deserve, that they are wanting to find that kind of time and space to prioritize themself. And so thank you for having me. I'm excited to dive in and really see how we can support some other women.
[00:01:20] Alena: Yeah. Thanks Gaylene. It's so nice to see you again. I'm always intrigued when you say you've been in this industry for 25 years. My gosh. You don't look like you've been in this industry for 25 years. I would've said you were much younger than that. You have a very healthy, glowing disposition, which is obviously a bit of a calling card for the work that you do.
[00:01:40] I suppose it looks like you live a pretty healthy lifestyle
[00:01:42] Gaylene: yourself. Yeah, and I didn't always Right. I, I think. A lot of times in this world we evolve and learn and grow and take care of ourself. But yeah, I started out as a registered massage therapist 25 years ago this year actually. And when I was working as a massage therapist, it was to me all about learning the muscles and the body and the systems and really that physical touch, which was just fascinating to me.
[00:02:12] But I wasn't taking care of myself in other ways at that point. So even though I've been in this space, my skin was not always clear. My hair was not always like this. I didn't have this. Youthful feel, nevermind look, but the youthful feel. I felt like I was aging in my body in a way that I was just doomed to, you know, be tired and bloated and uncomfortable.
[00:02:35] And it wasn't until I really started including other practices as well and learned nutrition, and I work with aromatherapy and I started including other modalities that I really understood. There's so much more. That we can be doing for ourselves that get neglected. So even though I've been in the health and wellness space for so long, it still took a lot of time for me to really get to the root of what was going on in my own body as well.
[00:03:02] Alena: I think that is something so many will relate to.
[00:03:54] Alena: it's a very common experience from what I've observed and certainly from what I've experienced in my own life, to have those times where we yearn to look after ourselves, where we yearn to feel better in our skin, but for whatever reason, we're not able to either yet or at that moment.
[00:04:11] And I do. Talking to people like you who work in this industry because it gives us just alternatives, like just other ways into holistic health. And it's something that I feel like is so often just sitting there waiting for you to look at it and waiting for you to bring it back into your life. And.
[00:04:31] Address those things, those little niggling concerns that that hang around when you are not able to prioritize, when you're not able to put yourself on the top of your list, you know? And it's a common thing. I know for the mothers that I serve as well, that just as much as you wanna cook a beautiful quinoa salad for lunch, you know, you might not do that.
[00:04:51] Except maybe once a month when you do that special shopping list and that special time that you get the chance. And I love the kind of gray area between here and there where it's not always about going all out, you know? It's about what are the little things that you can do here and there that are gonna make a big impact on your health.
[00:05:10] Gaylene: Yeah, absolutely. I know that with my clients, one of the things we do try and build are the little things that can make the biggest difference, right. When it comes to busy moms, when it comes to busy professionals, when it comes to just busy women in general, I think it's really common to put other people.
[00:05:27] First, right? Other people need us. Other people rely on us. Other people want things from us. And so we give and we give and we give, and then all of a sudden before we know it, we're depleted, we're tired, we're low on energy, we're burning out and having the. Kind of the mindset to make the shift of remembering why it's so important that if we prioritize ourself, if we do the little things to build up those healthy habits, we're gonna be so much better off for those people that rely on us.
[00:05:57] So whether that be your children or your employees, or your friends or your family, whoever those people are that rely on you, when you are depleted and you're drained and overwhelmed and exhausted, you're not going to be able to. Take care of them. Never mind yourself. But when we really make that shift, and like you said, even that gray area, you don't need to go all out all the time on all the things because that's not sustainable.
[00:06:22] But when we do the little things consistently, we can really see results from those. and when we can build them up and turn them into healthy habits and healthy habits that stick, we can be that better version of us for those people that need us. So really prioritizing ourself as women, I think is so, so important always, but especially when you have other people relying on you, it's even more important.
[00:06:47] That you take
[00:06:48] Alena: care of yourself as well. So agree. And I, I often feel like it's quite hard when we're hardwired our hormones. Everything points us to being carers. You know, as mothers, when we give birth, when we, when we are in a system of we are the carer, you know, we are the one responsible. It's very difficult.
[00:07:05] To, to remember that we can't do that without caring for ourselves first because everything in us tells us all our hormones pointing us to caring for others, you know, and that that can be really hard and that can be the same with a career woman who has a responsibility in a job to an organization.
[00:07:23] Everything points you. Doing that role and caring for that business above and beyond your own self. So give me an example. What's a good little tweak? What's a good little hint for a woman who is feeling like that's feeling all poured out? What's a little thing they can do when they're feeling that way?
[00:07:41] Gaylene: so I have a few, but just to kind of expand even on what you were just saying before we get to that, because I think it's a really good point to make for anybody listening. Say for example, you were in a place that you needed help from somebody. Do you want to go to that burnt out, exhausted health coach for your health?
[00:07:59] Do you want to send your kids to a really burnt out, exhausted teacher? Do you want to go have surgery from a burnt out, exhausted surgeon? I'm shaking
[00:08:08] Alena: my head guys. It's a no. Yeah, it's a no for me.
[00:08:11] Gaylene: Think about the people that you need in your life that you rely on. You don't wanna go to a burnt out exhaust.
[00:08:18] Person for anything in your life. If you, if your kids go to childcare, you don't want to send them to a burnt out, exhausted child minder. You wanna make sure that you are really surrounding yourself with people that prioritize their own health and take care of themself, and they show up as the best version of them for you and the people that are, are caring for.
[00:08:38] And. When we feel like I don't have time for this, or I don't deserve this, or I don't, you know, I need to do all these other things first. I want you to think about how the people in your life are going to experience you. And so the little tips then are gonna be whatever that looks like for you. And it might be different for me than for the next person.
[00:09:01] And so, so personal. It's so personal. And so one of the things and we actually talked about this in a training that Elena has at her membership, is that I work on four whole pillars of health, right? We don't just all need the same tip. I could sure go and say, sure, drink more water. Or maybe I'll say, you need to do some more exercise or some mindset work or, Sleep more.
[00:09:22] Everybody's gonna have a little bit of a different piece of the puzzle. And you know, for more training on that, absolutely she'll tell you where you can dive in. But when you're trying to think of just the little things that you can do that are gonna make the biggest difference, it's. It's taking that five minutes out of your day to really figure out what that looks like for you.
[00:09:39] So for me, for example, I sit at my desk for many, many hours a day. And for me it's that I need to get up and move my body a little bit. And I also need some fresh air. I really like to clear my head with exercise. So for me, it's not going to the gym, it's actually just going for a walk outside in nature.
[00:09:57] Or having a shower sometimes I have the best ideas in the shower. You know, it could be going to bed early. Sleep for me is something that I also really prioritize, and if I don't get enough sleep, I'm super crabby. And so everybody's gonna have their own little unique thing that will make the biggest difference for them.
[00:10:15] But to even figure out what that thing is, it's spending a few minutes of quiet time by yourself and really tuning in and asking yourself, you know, to really prioritize me today. What would that look like? What do I feel like, what do I want more of? What do I want less of? And being really honest with yourself, because even if your answer is like, I should do this, but I don't have time, or I want to do this, but I don't have time, or I should do this, but I don't have energy, then think about how you're actually gonna feel once it's done, right.
[00:10:47] If you've ever went for a walk or a run, or to the gym or to get some exercise, even when you didn't feel like it, there's a good chance that you actually came back. Feeling better than when you left in the first
[00:11:00] Alena: place. Yeah. You usually don't regret it, do you? I, I'm a big fan. You usually don't regret it.
[00:11:03] I'm also a big fan of like the micro version, so I know as a mother I could have the best of intentions to go for a walk with my dog, but like one kid needs this, one kid needs that, and then it's dinner time and then it's bedtime and then, you know, the day just goes. And so my big thing at the moment is actually a micro version of whatever it is.
[00:11:22] So if I didn't get a chance, To go for a walk, perhaps I can just literally go stand outside the front of my house and look around. Yeah, like for two minutes. If I don't have 20 minutes, maybe I can find two. You know? Yeah. Or the other big, the big thing that I find works a little bit for me is delaying the stuff that is not healthful or not supporting.
[00:11:44] So, so it might be that I wanna binge some Netflix, you know, that's, I just wanna sit down and zone out. But if I can just delay that for three minutes and like make that the reward and do some stretches first, or just, you know, delay. The glass of wine and have a glass of water first, like just whatever it is that's helpful for you.
[00:12:07] Do that first and delay the thing that is not so helpful or not so supportive, you know? Cause we all do those things. When
[00:12:14] Gaylene: you said, yeah, when you said the micro version of even just going and standing on the side. Something else that I'll do with myself when I look when it comes to that micro version is tell myself to go do it for five minutes and chances are I'll go do it longer.
[00:12:27] Right. Yes. So I'm just gonna go for a five minute walk, and by the time my dog and I are walking for five minutes, I'm like, do you wanna go a little bit farther now, . And of course she wants to, so we do. Yeah. But it's getting yourself going and just telling yourself, sure, I'll go for five minutes, or I'll exercise for five minutes, or I'll.
[00:12:44] You know, get ready for bed five minutes earlier or whatever the thing is. Just a few minutes. Yeah. You can usually find a little bit more time. It's more but
[00:12:53] Alena: powerful choices. Yeah. And they, and they do build over time. So like I find that when I start doing those things, they're more likely to come to mind.
[00:13:02] Next time, because I've practiced it, I've practiced the neural muscle, you know, of actually putting myself first, which is kind of a thing to practice
[00:13:12] Gaylene: as well. Yeah. I have another one for you, and it was actually something that just came to mind from a call. What's in the clients that I did yesterday. So I was on a coaching call.
[00:13:21] This is actually at the very end of the call. We were talking about things that set you up for success versus what sets you up for. So, for example, if you are. I work with women who have maybe been jumping diet to diet and trying all the different things and they're in 10 different Facebook groups getting bombarded by all the different things that they should do.
[00:13:42] Sounds like parenting advice are air quotes. Yeah. So all the things you should do, you don't do any of them cuz you're so confused with all the information. If you sit down and actually make a little list of yourself, whether it be for parenting or health or whatever it comes to mind, think about what is actually available to you that would set you up for.
[00:14:00] Who are the people you should surround yourself with that are gonna set you up for success? How should you spend your time to set yourself up for success, whether it be weight loss or parenting, or taking care of yourself, whatever that is. What are the things on the, this would set me up for success, right?
[00:14:17] Have the conversations with the hard people. Get an accountability by, call a friend. Call this person, have a coach. Whatever those things are for you. Turn off Netflix, right? Take time out to read or journal or to go for that walk or whatever that looks like. And then on the flip side, what are the things that really set you up for failure?
[00:14:36] It's probably the things that you're overwhelming yourself with, right? All the mixed information, all of the news, all the bad news that's out there, all of the, you know, social media groups that are giving you all of that mixed information. It's not fully committing to something, it's burning yourself out.
[00:14:54] It's overstressing about certain things, and when we think about what sets me up for failure, why would I spend any more time doing that? Once you sit down and read your list, why would I spend any time on any of those things? Why would I waste my energy on those things or my effort or my attention?
[00:15:13] Really tune in and focus on the things that set you up for success because when it comes to prioritizing yourself, it's up to you to do it. No one else is gonna come and do it for you. So it's up to you to really figure out what that's gonna look like and what, what little things you can tackle that is going to set you up for
[00:15:31] Alena: success.
[00:15:32] Mm. That really reminds me of the kind of, what would future me do, you know? So it's like that kind of embodying, how can I actually embody in my action now and my choices now that would actually align with the version of me that I'm approaching? Mm-hmm. and, and also what can I delete? What can I deactivate?
[00:15:50] What can I distance myself from that no longer. That person, the person that I'm approaching, rather than the person I've been or the health mindset that I've had in the past that hasn't served me. And the beautiful thing about what you're saying too, I think is that lovely idea that energy flows where attention goes, you know, whatever.
[00:16:10] We actually shift our attention too. We create more of, so it's like, Do more of what works and less of what doesn't. To quote one of our mentors, Stu McLaren, and I love that. Absolutely. Because it's so simple, you know, and it's literally what's working. What's giving you a sense of support and wholeness and replenishment, and how can you just sneak a tiny bit more of that into your life?
[00:16:36] Like you say, having a shower or whatever it is. . Literally when you have a, you know, a newborn, it might be that you sit down to feed and you have one less outing that week where you just sit still. Yeah. You know, it can be something super simple. It can be saying no to something you don't traditionally say no to, but really those things can actually build up over time in a.
[00:16:59] Big way. You know? So don't, I think that thing about not underestimating those little things, there's just those little things, one by one. Gently. Gently. Rather than joining a big group and seeking a big change and looking for the big ticket items. If we can focus on the little, little, gently, gently stuff slowly, gradually, and they're the kinds of changes that.
[00:17:21] You know? Yeah,
[00:17:22] Gaylene: absolutely. When we do the little things, they can make a big difference when done consistently over time. So yeah, drink a little bit more water, have a little bit more sleep, eat a little bit more nourishing food, right? Make a smoothie. Have you know something that nourishes your body in a way that you know that it's gonna make you feel good.
[00:17:41] Alena: chocolate
[00:17:42] Gaylene: instead of milk chocolate . Right? Absolutely. I'm all over the dark chocolate. No problem with that. Do the things that are really setting you for success. Do the things that are gonna make you feel good and feel proud and create that change that you want to see in your life, in your health, in your body, in your family, in your, in your finances.
[00:18:00] It's in all areas of life. Right? When you were saying, You know, the little things that can make the big difference and do more of what works and less of what doesn't. That's in all areas of our life. Mm, I agree. It's in all.
[00:18:12] Alena: And I think there's this other piece in there too that's so, so important that there are so many pressures on women, on mothers in that come to us culturally and socially and that are embedded in US culturally and socially, and that we've really gotta.
[00:18:28] Give ourselves a little bit of slack and we, we really have to allow ourselves compassion and to do these things slowly over time. And rather than, I have to be awesome at everything, at every moment, you know, it's just not possible and especially, Without the support that we traditionally would've had from extended family communities or cultural communities that, that we would've been embedded in, we're not embedded in those communities often.
[00:18:56] So we often, you know, the nuclear family, we're often parenting in isolation, and we're expected to do all the things that a whole community would've done communally. , cooking, dinner, childcare, you know, all of the things that we do independently now, originally might have been done in a more community context.
[00:19:15] So we have this kind of unrealistic set of ideas, you know, and I think sometimes that comes in with health as well, like especially when it comes to. Losing weight as mothers, and with the rising maternal age, there's often estrogen depletion and perimenopause creeping in, which is another layer of belly fat on top of the belly fat from the birth of pregnancy, you know, and there's so many kind of.
[00:19:40] Really unhelpful images around of women with no belly fat, you know, telling you you shouldn't have any of that. Belly fat's really important after birth. It's also really important in perimenopause. You know, so there's this kind of a lot of pressure on us, and I think if we can gently, gently, self compassionately navigate those pressures, you know, the message is not, you need to get better all the time.
[00:20:04] You need to be perfect all the time. The message is make small, nourishing. You know? Yeah,
[00:20:11] Gaylene: I love that. And also surround yourself with the people that are supportive of how you want to live. Yeah. Right. When you were talking about, you know, all of the social pressures that are out there, you know, on social media where we're bombarded by all these picture perfect everything, whether it be the perfect mom or the perfect body, or the perfect whatever.
[00:20:30] Yeah. So, Try and separate ourself from the negative emotions that we experience from seeing that. Yeah. And fill your space and your life with more positive. Yeah. So whether that be real life in your community or whether that be a social community online that you've found of supportive people. Right.
[00:20:52] Even us, we're in two totally different countries and we can still support each other. Yeah. In. Space. And so find somewhere somebody that you can surround yourself with that has the same values of you, that's supportive of you, that's encouraging of you. Yeah, that's not bringing you down, but really lifting you up.
[00:21:09] And so try and tune out and stay a little bit away from all of the negative things that bombarded your life and your brain and your space and your emotions on that daily basis. Yes. And really find a community. The opposite of something that makes you feel good, feel proud. Yes. Even if it's a place to complain, but really encourages you to be you.
[00:21:33] Yes. And encourages you to really prioritize yourself. That's really true. I think that's important.
[00:21:38] Alena: I love that you said that and I, and I think it's so true, and I know that for me, I have no qualms anymore in feeling into my body if something I see makes me feel kind of uncomfortable and, and. Putting out a message that I feel is degrading in any way or competitive in any way.
[00:21:56] Any of those kind of things. Cuz I'm just a true collaborator. I'm just a women supporting women. Like that's the only vibe I want, you know? Yeah. I don't really have any interest in competing. I'm not. I'm just not in that space, right? So when I see that kind of vibe coming up, then I just delete and deactivate and, and unfollow.
[00:22:16] And I just, I'm not saying I don't like different opinions, I love different opinions. I'm very curious person, but, but that kind of energetic vibe. That is unhealthy or unsafe. I now know how to identify that. I can feel it. When I feel it, I follow it. And it's that tuning into your intuition about what feels right for you and what doesn't.
[00:22:38] And it's another way of honoring yourself and putting yourself at the top of the list. It could be, for example, the analogy of, you know, the, the school playground moms. There's those moms that you speak to sometimes that you don't feel so comfortable around, that you feel a bit funny around, or. You feel judged by, it's gonna happen.
[00:22:55] You know it's gonna happen in life, in work, wherever you are. There's ways that you can separate yourself from the meaning of that. You don't have to attach any meaning to it. You can just attach compassion. You can say, okay, that person may be having a bit of a bad day and they're not coping so well, and it doesn't have to mean anything about me.
[00:23:17] You know, like we can actually separate the way we value ourselves from the way that other people behave. And I think that's really important too, that as we nurture our. In our sociocultural context that we understand what we can change and what we can't change. You know, we can't change the mainstream media necessarily.
[00:23:37] We can't change social media memes. You know what trends on TikTok or whatever. But we can change how we spend our time and how we make meaning of those things and what stories we attribute to those things. And those are things we have control over. You know? I was gonna
[00:23:56] Gaylene: say that, you know, focus on the areas that we can control and really figure out which of those are important to us.
[00:24:03] Right? Yeah. If we're feeling judged or if we're feeling, you know, any type of negative emotions about how we're being treated, then shift back into what we can. So what can we actually control? Yeah. Right? What in real life can we control? Well, we can control the food we put in our body. We can control the exercise that we have.
[00:24:22] We can control the sleep. We can control who we surround ourselves with. We can control. How we spend our free time. Yeah. We can control the, the complaining that we do the conversations that we have. Yeah, there's a lot of things that are within our control and when you're talking about really tuning in and you know, being a little, using our intuitiveness a little bit more to really.
[00:24:46] Create that space that we want. It's thinking about how we want to feel. And again, it's up to us to prioritize ourself, to focus on those things we can control to get us the result we want. And when we do take that time, it's gonna be a lot easier to let those other things roll off our back. Then if we're tired and burnt out.
[00:25:05] Yes, because when we're tired and burnt out, our emotions are not stable. Our hormones are not stable. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of other things that come up to the surface when you're extra tired or extra. Yeah, exhausted. We don't have. That feeling of control, people are more likely to grab, you know, coffee and sugar.
[00:25:24] Alena: Yeah, sure. Yeah. Than choose those. That's right. And I think we build resilience, you know, and that they're messengers. I mean, I just feel like when you're having an an over an influx of feelings that are uncomfortable and influx of anger and rage, frustration. Those feelings are important. They're valuable feelings.
[00:25:42] We must honor them. We must listen to them. They're messages, they tell us something's not right. They tell us that something isn't feeling quite aligned for us right now, or we are not caring for something that needs caring for, you know, they're important messages and they. They definitely should not be like, okay, I need to switch that off.
[00:26:01] You know, it's not about that, but I think for me it's very much a personal thing where if I'm feeling a lot of those feelings, a lot of those uncomfortable moments, then that means that I'm. Possibly being called to take care of myself a little differently. Yes, and And it's powerful, you know, to recognize those feelings and those emotions and feel them and acknowledge them and hear the message, you know?
[00:26:26] Gaylene: I was gonna say, hear it, it's so important because when we're busy, we just kind of shove things like that to the side, and I think I'll do it tomorrow. I'll come back to this. Right now, something else is more important, but to actually hear it,
[00:26:39] Alena: I hate the cold of the body. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And I think, my mother always says that I talk about my mother a lot in this podcast, so she gave me a lot of wisdom.
[00:26:47] And she says, you gotta listen to your body. And I agree with that in so many ways. You know? Wow.
[00:26:54] Gaylene: Think it's powerful. As a massage therapist, I've seen a lot of people physically push through pain. Yes. Right? They push. People will push through, and pain is exhausting. Yes. Pain. Mentally and emotionally exhausting to be in.
[00:27:06] Yeah. But people push through and, and then, you know, as a health and nutrition coach, I see a lot of people push through other areas of their life as well. Yeah. You know, we try to be strong, we try to do what's best, but we also try and push through until we have time or have energy or have resources. And so, The whole idea of really taking the time to listen and to prioritize yourself and take control of what is available for you to take control of.
[00:27:36] Yeah. And set yourself up for success and do more of what works and do less of what doesn't work. When we're busy, all of those things fall to the side. . And so just really carving out, if we go back to thinking about your initial question of what is the little things mm-hmm. that can make the biggest difference.
[00:27:52] I really think it is. Take those five minutes for yourself today. Mm. Don't say, I'll do this tomorrow, but really take those five minutes today or 10 minutes today to journal, to go for a walk, to really tune in and listen to your body and ask yourself what it. Mm,
[00:28:07] Alena: that's awesome. Thanks Galen. It's so lovely to talk to you again.
[00:28:11] I've really enjoyed our conversation. So Galen and I had a, had a conversation probably about a year ago now. It was quite a while, and instantly kind of, I really like the way you think about this stuff. And even though we are separated by many, many miles, It is a delight to hang out with you again and have you on the podcast, and I would love to do this with you again and I will certainly include in the show notes any ways that you can find Galen, you wanna give us a quick way that people can find you.
[00:28:40] Gaylene: Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, there's a big ocean between us, but in the online world these days, just like we were talking about earlier, surround yourself by people that really uplift and support and encourage and so it doesn't matter what country they live in you can find me a few places. Mainly I have a Facebook group that is free to join where you can come and hang out and really soak up.
[00:29:00] Some love and attention and knowledge. And instead of having the negativity that we see on social media, I really try and create a positive and supportive place. And so that would be a good place. Another kind of a fun one if you're actively wanting to try and figure out which of these areas of your life to focus on.
[00:29:17] I have a quiz, and the quiz is a really fun, simple quiz that's gonna give you a personalized three step plan as to how you're even gonna. Tackle this for yourself. So maybe that would be a good link to share as well. And you can really start thinking through, if you're feeling like I don't have a lot of time or energy or even know where to start with all of this, that could be a really great place to start.
[00:29:39] Alena: Can you tell us where that is?
[00:29:41] Gaylene: Yes. I'll grab you the link. It's right on my website. Cool. So my website is Compass rose nutrition.ca. Great. And it's right there on the homepage and I'll grab you a special link direct to the quiz itself. Thank you,
[00:29:53] Alena: Galen. Well go well for the rest of your evening and it's been beautiful to talk to you again.
[00:29:58] Thank you for coming on the podcast.
[00:30:00] Gaylene: I think having these Yeah, you're so welcome. I think having these conversations is so nice to really allow ourselves to open up and go into the, into the conversation that we want to spend more time with. Sit away from the negativity. It's eight o'clock at night where I live right now.
[00:30:16] I could be sitting there flipping through Netflix looking for something to watch, or I can have actual deep, meaningful conversations that I'd love to have. Oh, nice
[00:30:23] Alena: meet too for having me here. Thank you, darling. I'll talk to you very soon. Bye.